We all have people in our lives we love… I’m not talking about good friends or people we enjoy hanging out with, although within this group there may be people we love. I’m talking about people who in themselves make up a piece of our own soul. If we were to ever lose them, we would lose a piece of who we are, a piece of our own self.
For me these people are my wife, my two little girls, my sister, and my parents. If I were to lose any of them, I would be changed on the inside forever. The scary part of life, is that I will probably experience this loss one day. I can’t change that fact, or do anything about it. It is one of the few things in life we are powerless to change – instead we can only accept it as beyond our control.
It is because of this simple truth that we should take every opportunity available to experience life with the ones we love. This can be a weekend getaway, a dinner out with your spouse, a breakfast date with your 4 year old daughter, a family vacation, or just quality time with your parents. Simply put, life is all about enjoying and being with those we love…
The Danger… Taking those we Love for Granted.
For me, it is very easy to forget this truth, which is why I need to hear it often. The busyness of life tempts me to skip that important phone call or neglect to make the plans I should, in order to communicate my affection for those I love. Sometimes I can be caught “drifting”, instead of “planning” and taking action with my time. It is one of my own personal flaws that I consciously try to avoid and have to actually strategize against it.
The problem with this flaw, is that if I “drift” instead of “plan”, I end of taking those I love for granted by letting the busyness of life take over my schedule. It is not purposeful, but is due to a lack of being intentional. Before I know it I’ve missed out on valuable time that I can never get back.
The Solution… Be Intentional
The only solution I’ve found to this danger of taking those we love for granted, is to be intentional. We need to be intentional with our time and intentional with our focus.
By time, I mean that we need to plan time with those we love. Time that is set aside for the purpose of getting to know those we love more deeply. It can be a joint activity, or just time to simply talk (like family dinners) – either way it is done intentionally so as to not miss the opportunity to strengthen the relationship.
There really is no shortcut for this. Time is a valuable resource and once lost, cannot be recovered. If you are like me, and have endless priorities – there is no substitute for being intentional and planning out your time for what is most valuable.
The second point is to be intentional with our focus. We can be with someone, but not really be with someone. Technology has been beneficial to all of our lives, but has done great hindrance here due to its endless distractions. At least it has for me.
It’s important to keep our focus when we are with those we love. Yes, this means putting away the smartphone and staying on target. (Believe me, I’m the worst culprit here)
Otherwise we risk doing more damage than good to our relationships.
Frankly, it can be better to spend no time with someone, than be with someone and have zero interest in that person, because we are constantly focusing on something else. Believe me, you can’t fool people you love. They will know it.
What this means for me…
If you are reading this article the week I published it, than I’m in the middle of a seven day trip with my Dad. We will be in the mountains of Colorado, riding horses, fly fishing, and having a great time together. I’ve never taken a trip like this before where it is just the two of us, so I am revved up for an amazing experience.
This being said, although I’m excited about Colorado, I’m most excited for the quality time I’ll get with just my dad and I. Since we live 2000 miles apart, it is time we rarely get except through a passing phone call.
I’m certain I’ll look back on this trip for years to come and reminisce on the great times together… Since it is time that I can never get back, there was no way I was going to miss it.
Ask the Readers, how are you being intentional with your time this week? Do you need to set aside time to strengthen a relationship with someone you love? Don’t wait, be intentional.
Jason is the founder of frugal habits - a personal finance blog about eliminating debt, saving your hard earned cash, and giving generously. When not enjoying time with his beautiful wife and two daughters - Jason enjoys the great outdoors, reading a great book, traveling the globe, triathlons, and a good cup of coffee.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
This is an awesome post! My people are the same- my husband, my two little girls, my parents. There is no amount of money in this would that could ever replace them.
Holly@ClubThrifty recently posted..Voluntary Torture: A Trip to Our Local Shopping Mall
Absolutely – couldn’t agree more.
How great for you to be spending time with your dad. I envy you for still having a father to share precious moments with. I lost my own two decades ago when I was still young, and I think I was cheated those years of his company. Now I see to it that I am with my loved ones every possible time, like attending family occasions and visiting whenever I can.
CreditDonkey recently posted..Parents More Likely to Talk Money, Not Sex to Kids
Sorry to hear about your Dad. I remember thinking about this trip and the same thought went through my head. “What if I missed out on this time and regretted it the rest of my life”. That thought was in my mind while writing this post, spend all the time you can with those you love.
Great post! I think what it finally took me to learn this lesson was getting married and having children. Any one of them could be taken from me in a blink of an eye and because of that I want to cherish my time with them, and like you said being intentional. I think we get caught up in the “busyness” of life that too often we lose sight of the importance of those who mean most to us.
Have a great time with your Dad in Colorado!
John S @ Frugal Rules recently posted..6 Frugal Ways to Remove the Pain From Investing
John, I think I learned the lesson later also. Primarily after having kids… Something about kids makes you realize the important things in life.
Yes. Yes to everything you said. Even when ti’s game time, and I want to watch my teams duke it out on the screen, if one of my girls wants to talk about her new earrings or the dog’s puke color or whatever, I’ll turn and listen. It’s really important! Or better yet, I explain the game to them and get them into it too!
TB at BlueCollarWorkman recently posted..Not Getting Ripped of During an Oil Change: A Tune-Up
Where are you at here in Colorado? The weather is perfect out here right now. The heat has finally left and we are having awesome fall weather.
Sean @ One Smart Dollar recently posted..It Shouldn’t be this Hard to Choose Your Mortgage
Hi Sean, I’m west of Springs over by Deckers at a ranch called Lost Valley. Place is amazing and I’m having a great time. One day, I hope to bring my whole family here as I’m really enjoying my time in the mountains.
So awesome that you and your dad are vacationing together! That is one of my biggest goals once we get out of consumer debt — to take my parents on a vacation with us. They’ve always done so much for me and I owe them everything. I hope to one day be able to give them a small token of my gratitude by giving them an amazing vacation! Wish me luck saving up enough…:)
Also, I love love love what you said about intentionally being with the people you’ve chosen to spend time with. Put the smart phone down, turn off the computer, and spend some face-to-face time with those you love. We have limited time on this earth, and every minute we get to spend with our loved ones would be completely wasted if we didn’t let go of everything else, put it all on hold, to give our loved ones that full attention.
Michelle @ See Debt Run recently posted..Homemade Halloween Costumes – My Cheap New Tradition
Good Luck in reaching your goal of paying off your debt and taking your parents on a special trip.
I wrote this post week and than read your post on Friday about “being truly rich”. We were in the same state of mind last week
What a great post. I’m so glad you get to spend that time with your dad. I try to do one thing each weekend that my daughter wants to do within reason. It’s her time and we have a girl’s day. We got our toenails done recently(had a gift card!). I am not a pedicure person, but just seeing her get pampered was really fun. We also try to camp as much as possible. No cell phones or internet there. Colorado is a great state for getaways. We live in the Four Corners area and are heading out to Moab, UT in a couple of weeks. We haven’t been very intentional lately with trying to work on the rental, but that chapter is close to done, and I can’t wait to get back to normal.
I agree on camping. We did this for the first time (with kids) this last summer. It was great and our little girls loved it.
I think that trip with your Dad is the greatest thing you could do.
I have two boys, and I try to spend time with each of them individually. We’ll go to their favorite store together, or watch a movie, or get a milkshake. I try to make it special for them by telling jokes or sharing some experience that I’ve had, and by asking about things that they do and things they have learned.
They’re only young once.
Terry recently posted..Dreams Still Come True
Great post Jason. I think you hit it square on the head. Being intentional with the little time we have with those we love is so important. It’s great to be reminded of this – I needed it.
Thanks Tim… I need to be reminded of it weekly. It is something that is easy to forget.
Sometime, it’s quite to identify what’s really important in your life. But admit it, there are plenty of them and sometimes, you failed to identify which one is on the first spot!
But remember to think wisely!
Anyway, thanks for this input, this is really a good one.
Nicholle Olores recently posted..Timber Windows and Doors versus Aluminium
This is a great post. I think being intentional is a great philosophy to live by, albeit a very hard one to maintain. It’s something that we should all be striving for though. We all take for granted what we have .
Daisy @ Add Vodka recently posted..Saturday Links & Blogs I love: Convocation Edition
Couldn’t agree more Daily. Something I have to pursue daily- being intentional is work.
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